Ski Like a Dog
By Andrew McLean

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Originally published by Black Diamond Equipment

“Nice day - Lone Pine should be perfect. Is the dog coming?”
“I don’t know - hey Otto, do you want to go skiing?”

ZZzzzzz….zzzzzzz…skiing. Huh? Skiing? Right now? Really? YES, YES, YES!!! Let’s go, let’s go now! I know, skisbootspoleshatsglovesgoggles. Why do you need all that stuff to ski? Come on, let me in the truck now - no gear, no clothes, nuthin. I’m ready - I’m always ready.

Ahhh, the truck. It’s true, dogs do love trucks, but that’s because trucks take them skiing. Skiing with the humans is good. WOW! Check it out! A squirrel! Oh! Almost got him. Saaaay… what’s this on the ground…. looks like Dover was out skiing with the folks yesterday. Nice diet. Spoiled puppy. Are you guys ready yet? 

“Aren’t these dogs bred for trail breaking?”
“Theoretically.”

What are you looking at me for? I’m not going first. I don’t know where we’re going, and besides, it’s much easier to follow in your tracks. Got any Bonz? Hey! Watch those edges. Speed it up. Got any Bonz now? 

“We’ve got about another half hour to the summit.”
“Okay. It looks like Otto’s postholing his brains out.”

Hmm, another squirrel - I’ll get him later. I gotta eat some snow - this uphill is a lot of work. The powder is up to my shoulders. I wish it was corn snow. Another day of face shots. I hate face shots. I gotta let Dover know I was up here. How about this tree? No. This one? Okay. Wait for me! I’m tired of sinking in, let me sit on your skis. 

“Wow, great view up here. Sorry Otto, this is my sandwich.”
“Oh yeah, that reminds me…”

Bonz! I love Bonz! Got any more? No? You sure? Nice view. Look at all those mountains. It’s kind of windy up here. Powerbar? Can I have some? Phffft. Yuk. Can I have some more? Hey, are we going to go? Are you going to try and outrun me..??!! No way! 

“Watch out for the dog on the way down. He’ll clip you right in the knees.”

Errfff - this snow is deep, I can’t catch them. Huuuh, huugh, huh. Wheeh. Maybe I’ll just follow the ski tracks in this deep snow. Oh great - they’re heading over to that cliff again. I’m walking around. 

Saved by the skin track! You’ll never catch me now! Race you to the truck. Whoa! This is going to be close..!! Haahahaha! Slow humans. How about a Bonz? Let me in the truck. Nice and warm in here - better shake off. Much better. I wonder why we don’t ski all day long, every day? That’s what I’d do if I was a human. Just go skiing and climbing. Work is boring. Skiing is where it’s at. I can’t wait to tell Annie about this - she’ll be so jealous. I wonder if there’s any food left in my bowl? This jacket makes a nice head rest, so warm. Maybe I’ll just shut my eyes for a second….

“Geez, the dog’s knackered. Does he always snore like that?”
“Yeah, what a rough life eh?”

Copyright - Andrew McLean Back to Writings Index